• Myja Gary

The Challenge with Being Submissive as a Dominant Woman


Jeannie Mai, one of the hosts of the daytime talk show, The Real, was trending after she revealed on the show that she wants to be submissive in her marriage to rapper Jeezy.

She explained that she understands the idea has a "negative connotation," but to her, doing so would be a welcome escape from her busy career.


"I want to submit to my man,” she said. “When I hear this definition ... submitting has a negative connotation. It means that you are less important, you are lower than that person that you're submitting to. It usually can be like, you know, referenced as somebody who works lower than you, and that's not what I'm referring to here. I'm a very dominant woman. I own my business, I lead my teams, I played my own manager, my own publicist, my own lawyer when I didn't have money to have those people. So, I make the decisions in my life. When I come home, I like the idea that my man leads us.”


Jeannie Mai, I agree. The challenge with being submissive though, is that as dominant woman, I need to feel confident and secure in trusting that a man can lead us and make important decisions and if I can be honest, that kind of man is hard to find. I need a man who is God- fearing, secure and confident in himself, and strategic in his goals and plans.

I am a strong woman of faith and I make decisions based on the knowledge, wisdom and guidance that God gives me. I need a man who is God fearing and lives his life and guides his decisions by faith-based principles as well. If you don’t have God at the forefront of your life leading you and guiding your decisions, then I can’t expect you to lead and guide me as your wife.

When a man is insecure and low self-confident, it is apparent in the decisions he makes in his personal life, career, relationships, and the like. Often times, you’ll find that when a man is insecure about himself, he lacks initiative, doesn’t take accountability for his action, and has no consistent plan for his life. If you attempt to lead me through your insecurities and low self-confidence, then it will reflect poorly on our relationship as a whole. I can’t expect you to feel confident enough to lead us and make important decisions, if you are insecure in yourself.

As a dominant woman, I am strategic in my decisions that impact my life, my career, my relationships, and the like. This means that I set goals for myself, I establish a strategic plan for achieving those goals and I stay consistent and disciplined until I see those goals through. If a man is unorganized, lacks planning and goal setting efforts, and is inconsistent in his personal life, then I can’t expect him to be strategic in leading us and making decisions in our relationship.

As a dominant and independent woman, it’s not easy handing over those decision-making duties when you’ve been taking care and handling those duties by yourself. When that time comes, I need trust and security in knowing that a strong, confident and God fearing man who is strategic with his plans and goals, can lead us and make important decisions.

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